We woke up Thursday morning at 5am so we could be at the surgery center by 630. Chloe was calm, cool, and totally collected for a 3 year old that was about to go under the knife. I on the other hand was nervous, anxious, and terrified for my little ones. I knew that Chloe would be fine thanks to a blessing her uncle gave her.. I wasn't sure about me though. I should have asked for a blessing just for my nerves!!
We stopped at Aunt Ellen's house on our way. She would be there for support, more for me I think then Chloe. We made it to the surgery center with time to spare. Once inside Chloe was excited to see that there were other children there that would be having surgery too. Lilo and Stitch was on the television, there were crayons and coloring pages, and books and stuffed animals from home. She was content and I was shaking on the inside.
After she was registered we sat and talked. We sat there patiently waiting our turn for what was 2 hours but only seemed like minutes. When they called Chloe's name they told us that only 1 person other then myself could go back with Chloe in the pre-op area. Bobby went first while Ellen stayed behind.
We walked into a small room with a giant blue dentist like chair (without all the scary instruments) and 2 maroon chairs. The walls and cabinets were decorated in a "ocean" theme. There were dolphins, lots and lots of brightly colored fish, and other sea creatures stuck to the walls.
The nurses were nice and tried very hard to help me keep the now panicking 3 year old calm. If you didn't know Chloe you would think she was having an ADHD episode, but Chloe gets overly anxious and hyper in nervous situations and the nurses were very calm and patient with her. They gave us a gown with clowns on it, a hair net hat, bright forest green socks, and a dish to put her earring's in. Chloe was fine with the gown, and thought that the clowns were funny (have I ever told you I am scared of clowns!!!) but refused the socks and hair net. I didn't force them on her.. I was choosing my battles carefully and I knew there would be a bigger one soon enough.
Bobby started to get nervous, and Bobby is the type that lets anger show instead of fear. So when he noticed his face was starting to turn red (which didn't take very long), he went and traded with Aunt Ellen so she could have a turn with Chloe. Aunt Ellen has a special charisma about her. She is wonderful with Chloe. Shes actually wonderful with everyone. We took turns reading to Chloe, counting the dolphins and different schools of fish, we played the "I spy" game and did a pretty good job of keeping her distracted.
Doctor Rizzo was in and out in seconds. The OR nurse and Anesthesiologist came in next. The Anesthesiologist asked if I had any questions about the anesthesia. I said no, I didn't want to know how they were going to do it. I was afraid that I would get more nervous if I had to think of them putting my little angel to sleep. Chloe wasn't afraid of the Anesthesiologist, he reminded her of her Uncle Nathan. He had the same dark skin and similar features. She felt safe and confident in the fact that he looked familiar. The nurse started talking about going back and giving me the general surgery information that Dr. Rizzo had just went over. My little Chloe said excuse me to the nurse, to almost didn't hear her faint plea for attention. When she was finally acknowledged by the nurse, she asked when she would get her Popsicles. The nurse took Chloe's hand and started to walk towards the door and told Chloe that she could have any color Popsicle she wanted just after she talked to the doctor. Before I realised it she was already gone and down the hallway. I didn't get to kiss her or tell her how much I love her and what a brave little girl she being. But I knew that it would be okay. I was happy that she left the room happy and distracted. I would have hated if I prolonged the good-bye and she really got nervous and I had to listen to them drag her down the hall..
When Ellen and I got out front Bobby was standing there pacing.. Unsure of what to expect or how long we would have to just sit and wait. Bobby needed a distraction, so we sent him to QT to get drinks. By the time he got back to the surgery center we had already been waiting about 15 minutes. Bobby was past his angry/nervous stage and had moved on to his more "relaxed" nervous stage which is stupid "worse case scenario" jokes. Yea, no thanks!
Finally the nurse came out and got us. Only 2 at a time so Bobby and I went first. Chloe was crying. I was so sad for her. My eyes teared up and it was taking all of my strength to be strong for my little girl. I walked behind the curtain and she cried for me to hold her. As I made my way around the hospital bed to the chair, my eye were glued on Chloe. Her hair was a mess, her gown was tangled up around her, a pink bandage was trying its best to hold her IV in her little hand, her face red and full of tears. I know she just had her tonsils removed but for some reason my brain wouldn't register that fact. I examined her, I counted fingers and toes, made sure her nose was still symmetric with her face, made sure her eyes were still blue. Maybe to you it sounds silly, and maybe it is. I know, I know, I know it was just her tonsils for crying out loud, but for some reason I thought she would look different, altered, like you would be able to look at her and know that this little girl just had a surgery and they removed a little part of her. But there she was in my arms crying her heart out as she came out of anesthesia looking just like my beautiful little girl.
As I held her she cried and asked my why I let her go with the "mean" doctor. I asked her why the doctor was mean and without a beat, through her alligator tears she told me how that mean doctor made her stop breathing. My heart melted for her. She cried for me to hold her, but I already was. The nurse came over to me and put her arms around me in an affectionate I know how you're feeling kind of way, and I just sat there and rocked my little girl. Bobby was starting to get anxious again. She was crying, coughing, hysterical really and there was nothing he could do. The nurse gave Bobby a Popsicle to try to feed to Chloe, but she wouldn't have it. He tried apple juice and water and she refused both of them. So he did the only thing he could, went and got Ellen.
We sat in the recovery area for about a half hour. We all kept trying to push the fluids. We weren't allowed to leave until she swallowed something. When she finally calmed down enough to speak coherently she asked for water. She drank about 5 sips which made the nurse happy. We struggled to get Chloe dressed and to the car. The more the anesthesia wore off, the calmer she became. Although, she couldn't figure out why her throat hurt. It didn't hurt before she went inside and now she cant swallow, and it hurts to talk.
She spent the next 4 days sleeping it off. Day 5 was Sophie's birthday and I tried really hard to get her up and moving with only 2 days left until Christmas. I started to see a little bit of Chloe coming out of her by Christmas eve, and by Christmas she wasn't back to her old self but she was more then half way there. Finally 9 days after her surgery she is back to her old self. Eating, drinking, playing, screaming, being a happy confident 3 year old going on 30.
